You see, One day I got really bored and decided to do something stupid. While I do live in a city, we are only a few miles from some more rural areas... so I set out to do some cow tipping. For those of you who aren't familiar with this term, it is when you sneak up on a sleeping cow and knock it over, then run like hell before the farmer comes out with a shotgun (I told you I was bored). All did not go as planed... 

     It started normal enough. I walked up to a sleeping cow and knocked one over. Little did I know that if you knock a cow over the side of a hill they will tuck in their legs and roll...

     So there I am, at 2 am, running madly after a cow rolling down the side of a hill. Then suddenly the cow came to an abrupt stop. The cow then very slowly started to levitate. I looked up and saw what was pulling it: a long green beam coming from a spaceship! My first reaction was to try to remember if I ate any funny-looking mushrooms earlier that day... When I decided that Papa-John's didn't put 'shrooms on my pizza, I then figured I should probably run. 

     And run I did. I ran and ran and ran until I finally reached home. I assumed that they hadn't followed me. That was my mistake. So I quickly got on with my normal routine. I went outside to jump off the roof and to have my pants stolen by the clones. Almost the second my pants were taken, the UFO I had seen earlier swooped from the sky and started to pull one of my clones into the space ship! What luck! But I worry... They will eventually realize that it is not a real human. The second they decide to perform an anal probe and notice the lack of anus, they will know they have been deceived... then I'm sure they will kill all of us for tricking them...

Copyright Josh Johnson, 2000