You see, a while back I had myself cloned. Innocent enough, wanted someone to do my work for me. No big deal. But you see, my clone didn't like this. He didn't want to do all my work. Who would? So he cloned himself. Him and his army stole my pants. They have been teasing me with them ever since. Here are some of the more memorable moments captured on film. 

Pictures in "Thumbnail" form, Click on them to see a larger version
The Return! That's it ladies and gentlemen! After almost TWO YEARS of relative peace, the clones are back at it! This time they waited until I was asleep, "pantsed" me (Of course), then decided to rest my hand in a bowl of warm water... How juvenile...
This one is of me after being tired of everything they put me through. Note the Matrix-like style of flying through the air to deliver the kick. Also note their insistence on cloning the exact same clothing that I was wearing... hmm...
Here would be them teasing me with my pants. Right before this was taken they beat me up, hence the ripped shirt.
Here they were having a house party. They threw me off the deck. How rude of them. Note another appearance of them insisting on wearing the same clothes as me... It boggles the mind...
Hmm... I'm kicking ass!
One is conservative, one is liberal, one is fucking crazy. Can you guess which is which? 

 

Um... I fought... I tried... I lost... now I'm strapped to the tree, watching them take bets... 
This is not comfortable...
My biggest mistake: Calling his bluff.    
"He is harmless!" they said... "He couldn't hurt a fly" they said... They didn't count on crazy-naked man finding a ladder...
Ya see... one of the clones got abducted by aliens... the good news is, he has no anus, so he probably wont get probed.
     A return of crazy-naked-ladder man!!! Off the record, the first ladder picture sucked... there was a branch in front of my head. I really thought I could do better.
Bad: As some sort of ironic joke, they hand-cuffed me to a step-ladder. Worse: They found face paint and they don't know how to use it. Worse still: The reason they are staring at the censored bar like that? As part of their joke and their discovery of face paint, Cyclops is now all the colors of the rainbow...
I went to a wedding at a large Victorian house... a clone followed me... we spent the whole day in a stare-down... the good news is since it was a formal occasion he let me keep my pants... In case you can't tell, I'm the sexy one...

Copyright 2000, Josh Johnson