T'was a Bit Before Christmas...

T'was A Bit Before Christmas and All Through the Malls,

Children were Screaming and Running Through Halls.

The Children were Running to Stand in a Line,

"Come See Santa Claus", It Said on the Sign.

I Asked a Passer-by what was happening that night,

And When that Kind-Soul Answered, My Heart filled with Fright!

"Haven't you Heard?", She Said with a Smile,

"Santa is Here!", Then I Heard of his Guile!

This "Claus", So it Seems, Has Children at his Feet!

He Lures Them into His Lap, In Exchange for some Treat!

"Pedophile!", I screamed, But They Ignored My Cry!

They Sit, They Watch, They Stand Idly By,

As This Horrible Man, By the Name of Saint Nick,

Picks up Their Children and sits them Next to his Dick!

Horrid, Were the Curses that my Mouth did Spout,

Then, With Great Conviction, I called Saint Nick Out!

"You Cad! You Beast! You Impudent Wretch!",

"I'll Hurt You! I'll Maim you! My Belt, I shall Fetch!"

But Before I could Beat Him with A Strap Made of Leather,

Mall Security came, And Confiscated my Tether!

"Please!", I Begged, "You Don't Understand!",

"This Horrible Person, This Horrid Man!",

"He Deserves to Be Punished! He's After Our Kids!",

"He Could Degrade them! Use them! Make them Do as he Bids!"

Try as I might, Security Wouldn't Yield!

I was Pulled and Dragged to the Parking Field!

Banned, Was I, From the Mall, for Life!

Why? Because I Fought to Save Children from Strife!

To the Parents out there! Heed my Warning! I Implore!

If Saint Nick comes Knocking, Barricade your Door!

'Cause He Doesn't Want your Milk and Cookies,

This Fat-Man Wants More...