Why Not? (Why Won't You Have Sex With Me?)

    Let's start by dispelling a myth. It's not because we don't like or don't want sex as much as men. Most women do.

    It's just that we're not willing to do stupid things in order to get it. Men don't have this “problem”—as the male editor of this site has pointed out, they think with their “other head” as soon as the possibility of sex presents itself. Women, however, aren't willing to subvert their higher thought faculties. We have to think about how this affects us in the long run. We have to ask ourselves, “How much does this guy really care about me? Does he have my interests in mind at all? Will I get a reputation as a slut?” If we feel like we'd be lowering ourselves to sleep with you, we're not going to do it.

    And frankly, if women are turning you down for sex, it's probably because you haven't turned them on at all. We aren't automatically aroused just because an interested man is around. Even if you're great looking, you have to show some personality and get the woman emotionally involved before sex will even be on the menu.

    Most women prefer a long-term relationship over a fling. That way we get emotional intimacy, which is a big part of what turns us on. Plus, it means sex is available when we want it, and we don't have to go looking. There are different strategies women use to get to that stage. Some will put out early on in order to draw you in. Others will wait to have sex until they're sure they've got you where they want you in a relationship. The only advice I can think of for men in this situation is, consider what you really want, and use the head with the brain in it once in a while.

Back To The "What Women Are Really Thinking" Page

Copyright Josh Johnson, All Rights Reserved