Millsy Writes:

     First off, I'd like to say, I don't worship penis. Only because, my penis keeps saying "WORSHIP PUSSY". And I guess if pussy weren't so goddamn good looking, I would worship penis.

     Anyway. My problem, I have a good size dick. 7", not huge, but larger than most (did you know, the average Jap's penis is 3"?) but when I was walking down the street, this 500 pound woman came around the corner and my penis crawled into my body and won't come out! HELP!

The Voices Reply:

Stinger: Hmm... Retracting penis syndrome... this I know... Our host had a brief bout with this a while back...

Conscience: He did?

Reaper: Yeah, don't you remember? It was the first time he saw a picture of Janet Reno.

Conscience: Oh yeah...

Stinger: Yeah, that was pretty bad... it was like Cyclops lost his will to live... For those of us who love him, it was a tough time...

Conscience: Strange how no matter what someone says, you guys can somehow relate...

Reaper: Isn't it, though?

Stinger: Anyway, I remember it was a problematic time. At first, I thought that Cyclops would never come out. I started with the stages of grief... denial passed over quickly... eventually, I thought I had accepted the loss... but then, something amazing happened. Josh, our host, decided that life without his penis wasn't worth living.

Conscience: Typical thinking for your average teenaged male...

Stinger: He devoted his life towards making Cyclops live again! It was hard work... Josh spent every waking hour either hitting on any women he saw, or staring at pornography. After a week of this, Cyclops seemed to snap out of his Janet Reno induced coma.

Conscience: Well you wouldn't know it ended if you just went by his day-to-day life... he still hits on anything with tits, and still looks at far too much pornography... as a matter of fact, he always has! He just turned it up a notch, so to speak, after the whole Reno incident! Explain that!

Stinger: Oh, now that I can explain quite easily... He's a guy.

Reaper: True, true...  

Stinger: So basically, "Millsy", the problem here can be solved quite easily with the answer to all of lifes other problems. You need porno.

Conscience: Wow... how poetic...

Copyright Josh Johnson, 2000

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