Why Won't a Man Give Me a Straight Answer When I Ask How I Look?

     Oh, I love this one... How many times have men been asked "Do these pants make my ass look big?" and many other like-questions? It's astounding.

     Okay, this one is actually quite simple. When you ask us if your brand-new pair of jeans makes your ass look big, and we think they do, we have two choices. We can either tell you the truth and risk having you hurt us (I'm a frail and delicate flower), or we can lie. Smart men lie.

     Now, many of you women do claim that you value honesty regardless of what that may mean, but very few of you mean it. I know dozens of women who say that they would rather have the truth than a lie, but out of that group of (for the sake of argument) 20 women, only 2 or 3 really wanted an honest answer when they asked me "Does this top make my chest look flat?"

     So as a rule of thumb, men will lie to protect their own asses. Now, there are times where you really do look great in that new dress of yours, and then we will tell you that, but the rest of the time, before you can finish the question "Do you think I'm as thin as I was when you first met me?", we will have squawked "Of course, dear!"

    So yeah. Why do men lie in these cases? Self-preservation. You may think that you're offended by this, but really, it's for your own good. Women, compared to men, are remarkably self-conscious. We don't completely understand all the reasons you feel inadequate, but we know we want you to feel better, so we'll occasionally tell little white lies.

     It's like when you girls fake orgasms. Yes, it may be dishonest... But you have the best of intentions.

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