A Guide to "Getting" Guys
For reasons beyond my comprehension, women want men. As of such, I keep
getting asked the mind-boggling question, "How do I get this guy?"
Well, a rather nice girl asked me this, even after my explaining how
she's better off lesbian, so I figured, while I don't approve of any
Goddess lowering themselves to the levels required to gain a man, I
might as well answer the question finally.
There are three types of men. Assholes, the Shy, and the Neutral. While
there are exceptions in each case to make each man's personality unique,
when it comes down to it, once you get your target-man into one of
these three categories, you can use the appropriate strategy and
increase your odds of getting the man in question to choose you for
whatever horrible things he intends to do with women.
The Asshole Strategy
target is of the "Asshole" variety of men, they want one thing: sex.
When dealing with such a single-minded adversary, you can use an
equally single-minded strategy: Act slutty.
If the man
in question just wants a pair of tits to suck and a pussy to put his
dick in, then just do everything you can to let him know you have tits
and a pussy. Wear tight pants that show off your ass, and wear shirts
that barely conceal your nipples. Talking is optional. If you must
speak, lace every statement you make with multiple sexual innuendos.
Carry a stash of lollypops with you at all times, if you see your
target, take one out and start sucking on it like there is nothing in
the world that gives you more pleasure.
I personally am greatly confused as to why any woman would want to be
with any man that falls under the "Asshole" category, but if you insist
on trying, it really is that simple. Act like a slut, look like a slut,
and maybe he'll decide you're a worthwhile person to stick his penis
into. Just don't be surprised if he starts treating you like a slut.
The Shy Strategy
The "Shy" are the practical opposite of the "Asshole." The "shy" are
still men, and as of such, they still have a sex drive that does weigh
rather heavily into their thought-patterns. But these men have either a
very large conscience, or a very small sense of self-worth that causes
them to speak rarely, and even more rarely exhibit any sign of sexual
These men are often embarrassed to admit that they have any thoughts of
a sexual nature, but don't be fooled; the thoughts are there. This is
the type of man that really is interested in your personality, so your
main strategy should be to just try to make him see that you are a
nice, kind person. But if that's going slowly, then you must prey on
his often-hidden sexual fantasies.
Since these men are often wary to let their sexual side out, you must
be coy. Spreading your legs and saying "Come here, big boy" will
probably just scare the piss out of them, seeing as how the last time
many of these men have been inside the vagina of a woman was on the day
they were born. Be charming. Be subtle. Encourage these delicate little
flowers to make their move, and be patient with them when you discover
the best tool in their arsenal is the words "So... Have you seen 'Lord
of the Rings' yet?".
Patience. Be patient, and maybe it will pay off.
The Neutral Strategy
"Neutral" men are mutts. They are any combination of "Asshole" and
"Shy." Because of this, you can mix-and-match your strategies between
intellectual and sexual. A "Neutral" man may react very well to your
charm and charisma. He may also react very well to any choice of
wardrobe you make that allows your cleavage to appear as deep and
endless as the Grand Canyon. If you think your target is a "Neutral"
man, then just play it by ear.
Welp, that's the whole of it. I hope you weren't expecting anything
more complex. Don't get me wrong, among men there are anomalies that
fall into none of these categories, and may react to any strategy here
any number of ways. The advice on this page covers the most likely
possibilities. It will hopefully give you something to work
Really, any way you slice it, even if you find and trap yourself what
you perceive to be a good man, you were probably better off just going
lesbian. I'll say this for "Assholes": If you have to obsess over
something, tits and pussy are two very good choices.
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