EvenBall Writes:

            Why do I have to wear pants?

The Voices Reply:

Conscience: Because it is a normal, healthy thing to do.

Reaper: Shut up! Ignore him, even. Damn conformist... You ask why you have to wear pants. You don't. 

Stinger: Right. Pants are evil. Pants are tools used by the evil aliens who rule the government. They are designed to keep us in line. By keeping our "Goods" hidden, they can also keep our freedom bottled up.

Conscience: This is almost interesting... Are you saying that we will forever be in bondage as long as we cannot be completely free to wear what we wish?

Stinger: Hehe... you said bondage...

Conscience: Dammit! Ok smart-ass... there are some problems with not wearing pants. May I remind you of the "Mall incident"?

Stinger: That was not my fault... I said I needed more beer. I asked him to get me some. Next thing I know, he was running naked through a mall. Not my fault.

Conscience: You told him to drink it!

Stinger: How else was it supposed to get to me?!? Anyway, we got out! We got away from the security guards! So there was no harm done.

Conscience: The only reason we escaped was because the guards aren't paid enough to tackle a naked man! 

Reaper: Don't look a gift horse in the mouth...

Stinger: Anyway, pants are not needed, ever. Some people will try to make you. Some people will threaten you. Some people will lock you up. But you must remember one thing. You are to stand by your pants, not in them!

Conscience: How... deep.