11-12-2003  - "Matrix: Rethought"  

 

Usher:

Thank you for coming, sir. Did you enjoy the movie?

Josh:

The new Matrix? Well... I compare movies to anal sex.

Usher:

Um...

Josh:

You see, Much like with anal sex, Half the people who go to a movie love it, and think it's the most wonderful thing ever discovered. The other half are in extreme pain.

Usher:

Um...

Josh:

Sure, the pained-half are often able to find amusement in the situation. They may even find it quite entertaining...

Usher:

Sir...

Josh:

But that doesn't change the fact that they're bleeding from the anus.

Usher:

... What are you trying to say, sir?

Josh:

See this in my eyes? Bloody tears of sodomy.

Usher:

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

 

   If you haven't figured it out yet, I wasn't a big Matrix 3 fan. I just don't get the point behind making it a trilogy.
"Dude! 'The Matrix' sold big! Look at all this money! What are we gonna do?"
"Dude! Make sequel! Wait! Make two! Dude, that'd be so great, man. We'll throw in deep shit, like 'You cannot escape your own destiny' and shit! It'll so make the movies seem so... like... deep... dude"
"... This is some good pot, man..."

    Good job, guys! I guess that's why you deserve the big bucks! And of course you wont show a clear ending, because after-all, the Massively-multiplayer role-playing game takes place after the movie! Woohoo! This is what happens when we teach hippies the meaning of the word "Synergy"! 

   Anywho, just dropping in to say "Hi", and to say "The second two were good, but the first one was better alone"... That's about it...

- Josh Johnson                                                                

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