CollegeSucks Writes:

Men are terrible, women are worse, and don't even ask me about lesbians! I'm at a small college in a small town and I'm sick of masturbating, what should I do?

The Voices Reply:

Stinger:  First off, you can stop dissing masturbation. Next, you can stop dissing lesbians, because thoughts of those keep our host masturbating even when times are tough...

Modesty: Can I say something?

Reaper: What the fuck!?! I thought we killed you that night I got Josh to streak through the mall!

Modesty: I wasn't dead, just fairly badly hurt... You left me in a corner to rot... Not that I mind... I'd rather be away from here... you three get too much attention... I just came out to say that maybe you shouldn't talk so much about Joshes masturbation like that... it makes me uncomfortable...

Conscience: Let me get this straight... You were left in the corner for dead, right?

Modesty: Yes...

Conscience: But you weren't dead, right?

Modesty: Yes...

Conscience: Yet you decide to surface now? I mean, have you seen the clone pictures?!? Where were you when the man was jumping naked off of ladders!?! You used to back me up, man! Ever since you have been gone, these guys have treated me like their bitch! Together we were at least as powerful as one of them! I can't believe you left me like that! Come here!

Modesty: AAAAHHHH!!!

Stinger: Bitch fight! I'll get the popcorn!

Reaper: Wow... apparently Joshes Conscience is more powerful then his modesty...

Conscience: Alright... I left the little guy in the corner...

Reaper: Anyway, CollegeSucks; You don't like men, you don't like women, and you don't like masturbating. Well... you have eliminated the three major choices... I suggest we find a new one... how do you feel about machinery?

Stinger: I can hear the vibrating now... BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Conscience: I'm just going to go sit in the corner with the corpse, now...