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Angry Daddy Writes: Dear Voices, I have a 17 year old daughter. By today's standards, she is very attractive. She always has guys dropping by the house to talk, and asking her on dates. I hate these guys. I know that they only want to have sex with my daughter, and I don't know how I can stop them! I can't always watch my daughter, and my wife tells me that she will no longer speak to me if I injure these guys, so that isn't a viable option. What should I do to keep these guys away from my daughter? -An Angry Dad The Voices Reply: Reaper: First off, see what you can do to sell your wife on the idea of assaulting these kids. It's the only way they'll learn... Conscience: Violence is always the answer with you, isn't it? Reaper: I was wondering how long it would take you to figure that out... Stinger: Don't let her shave. Conscience: ... Excuse me? Stinger: Shave. As in, "Shave her legs". You see, it makes perfect sense. What guy wants to have sex with a girl who's legs are like sand-paper? If you don't let your daughter shave her legs, then I guarantee you that guys will be in no hurry to get between them... Reaper: Amazing, Stinger! Brilliant even! You never cease to amaze me! Conscience: Ya know... I'm amazed as well... but for entirely different reasons... Copyright Josh Johnson, 2001 |
