Uncle Jimbo Writes:

Um, I have this problem. Every time I go up to someone and try to be friends with them, they start spitting at me and hitting me, or the nicer ones just walk away or slap me. How can I change this?

The Voices Reply:

Reaper: Stop being a pussy.

Stinger: Hehe... you said-

Conscience: OH WE ALL KNOW WHAT HE SAID! Don't you ever get bored of the same old routine over and over again?!?

Reaper: Not really, no. Besides, I'm just trying to help the kid out! Things like this happen for a reason! Bullies smell fear! If they go after you, it's because they know you'll take it!

Conscience: Wow... that's really deep. That shows you are actually capable of rational thinking...

Reaper: It does?!? Shit! I take it back! You ever say that again and I'll hurt you!

Conscience: Too late! I know now! You're trapped! I'll expect more from you from now oooooonnn!

Stinger: Hmm... I guess I have to do color-commentary. For those of you who didn't pick that up, that last sound was the sound of Reaper attacking Conscience. This really isn't all that uncommon of an event, Conscience is meek for a reason. This is just the first time it has happened in the middle of one of these sessions... I wish I could say this was evenly matched, but Conscience is putting up about as much of a fight as Gandhi would... Hmm... Well... this will take a while; Reaper is enjoying himself. I might as well finish this up. Jimbo? I have found your problem. Your name. With a name like Uncle Jimbo, you invite people to tease you. I suggest you first beat up your parents for naming you "Jimbo", Then make them pay to have it legally changed. You're welcome.